Saying Good-bye for Now

I know I should have posted letter C today, but my mother-in-law passed away yesterday morning, and I've been busy with too many important tasks to take the time to think about a blog post. My children needed hugs, my husband needed lots of support since he is the oldest, and nearest relative to take care of final arrangements. And I have to assist him with this. 

It wasn't unexpected, but we're never prepared for death. That's why we need to take every opportunity to make the best use of our time while we're still among the living. We need to fill our hours with the people who are important to us, and people that we may not even know, but that we are important to. Little kindnesses and random acts of caring are so important. 

My mother-in-law wasn't the gentlest or most thoughtful of people, and she tended to be self-centered, especially as she grew older and began having health issues. Pain has a tendency to bring out the worst in most people. Occasionally my husband would get short-tempered with her, especially after the fifteenth phone call at two in the morning, when she thought she was holding the television remote, rather than the telephone, and simply couldn't figure out why the channel wasn't changing. Or when she would tell him for the umpteenth time that she couldn't figure out why she had that lump on her finger, or asked him repeatedly why he supposed it hurt her so much to bend her knees.

RA hasn't made me a nicer person, probably, but it has helped me to be just a bit more patient with others. It's enabled me to understand that someone may look healthy and happy, but may be hiding a wealth of pain. And because I have tried many times to downplay my own pain, and hide the ravages that the disease has heaped upon me, I have learned to realize that everyone has something they are hiding. Since I love a good mystery, that fact has helped me take a bigger interest in others. I have found that when a person discovers you are truly interested in them, they become much more open to sharing, unless, of course, they have something to hide. 

That's all the thoughts I have for today. It's a rather pathetic effort, but I am saving my energy for the next few days. There is much to do, and saying my final good-byes to a love one must take precedence. If you are still blessed with loved ones, take the time to touch one another and share some conversation. If you are alone, call or write a friend, or better yet, meet some new ones. We can find friends in the most unlikeliest of places, if we're open to it. I spend time volunteering at the elementary school when I can. Who knew that at my age, some of my best friends would be kindergarten students? They have taught me so much!

Good night, and I hope it really is good. 

Harmony